No InSpiral... NO! BAD InSpiral! You’re a restaurant/café... that’s fine. That’s enough! Just because you have a space (once you clear the tables away) not used after 10pm, and you’ve got some drinks behind a bar, and you’re in Camden... that does NOT mean you’re also automatically a bar. You’re NOT a bar. I say this because InSpiral claim they can do both. They claim to be able to serve lovely, healthy and tasty vegan food in a school cafeteria sort of way (slide your plastic tray over here, I’ll lump this sludge onto it, then trudge over to the till where you shall pay far more than it’s worth). Whilst at the same time offering a bar... with events of all things! Well no. I won’t allow it.

To be fair I haven’t been there during one of these events, but that doesn’t stop me from making a completely fair, fact-based, evidence-less decision. Individually, some of the jazz nights, open mic’s or whatever the frig it is they do might be good, or they might be shit I don’t know. They more than likely do it downstairs (where I didn’t wander), but that doesn’t matter. I can say all this in confidence, because InSpiral doesn’t need to be anything more than a restaurant/café.

It’s cute and charming in equal measures, like some sort of Smurf James Bond. The school cafeteria situation, rather than the totalitarian farce, ala 1984, it’s more just efficient and simple. The menu has about 8 or so main options. Which might be less than other places, but it’s more than enough to satisfy you. All of them sound great, and if you end up trying all eight you can’t be disappointed with it can you? Once you’ve chosen your main you get a choice of 2 or 3 sides. The side selection is possibly a downfall if your luck usually fails you. You see they batch cook each one. It might happen, if you visit during peak hours, that they run out moments before you order. But when I was in the queue, they started running low on Potatoes (Sweet and Original), but were re-filled before I actually got to the front.

I tried the lasagne (each one is cooked in individual one portion dishes, so you know it’s not just Supermarket bought. Plus it’s vegan, so it wouldn’t be. With sides of potato wedges, cherry tomato salad, carrot salad, and choice of mayonnaise or hummus. A hefty plate full even for the brightest necked of Texan serial steak eaters (never mind vegans) for £8.45. The other options follow similar styles, mushroom pie, risottos and pasta et al. All at similar prices.

Seating seems to be a bit of a lottery, but again I can’t complain as a lovely 2-birth window seat with lock view became available as soon as I looked over, as if it runs some sort of one out, one in policy. Plus there’s a downstairs (I’m told still with a nice view over the lock) with more seating I didn’t investigate.

BEER SELECTION: Bottles all the way. All Organic. Lager, Cider, and soft drinks. Smoothies are where it lays its hat. **

COST OF A MEAL: £8 for a well-cooked main. Couple of quid for drinks and desserts. Value for Money of a winning lottery ticket.  ****

STAFF: Not much to do, just refill tubs and ask for money. Helpful, and all smiles when asked a question. ****

FOOD: Not a great range on offer, but it’s quality not quantity. As they’re not concentrating on different stuff, the dishes they do offer are top notch. *****

SKIRT RATIO: Depends which side of the fence you’re on. Looking to wine and dine a vegetarian/vegan? You’re in. A Democratic, gun lover? You’re not. ***

Overall: If you like eco-warrior vegan grub... it’s a really nice and cheap café, yet still manages to handle proceedings with an air of restaurant professionalism. ****

InSpiral - Camden - Brought to you by James Wormald -