Events
The Birth of Murph - Brought to you by Gazz Wood -
Young Sawah 'Bum' Murphy had a birthday recently. A 21st no less. We felt bad about not celebrating it so, when she text us and told us we were going out, we jumped at the chance. I even went out and bought a new shirt. Long sleeved and everything.
Everyone was meeting on Call Lane about 9pm, but the hardcore LeedsMeUppers amongst us wanted to get it going soon as, so we made our preliminary drinks at Hukaz, the new bar at the bottom of our street. We told Gemma we were going to Hukaz and she was really happy, but I think she thought we meant something different because when we arrived at the bar and there were no ladies for sale, her face dropped like a bag of spanners.
Nath had a right mood on him because of some fuckers at work, so he sat in the corner with the mards on and ate his caesar salad, which he had a cran about for about half an hour. It's quite nice in Hukaz, lovely atmos and it's not that busy during the week so you can catch a sit down whenever you go. Service is a bit slow like, but what do you want? The fucking world! Fuck off.
So... sorry... we called for a Joe Baxi, two in fact, and the lot of us sheened down the Call Lane. On route I got a text from the one and only Murph to inform us of a change of plans. We weren't meeting at BRB, but at Jake’s. My cab all piled into Jake’s and I, being a flash bastard, put me card behind the bar for my drinks. How 007 is that?
Gave Sawah a kiss and collided with her and her mates over in the corner by the bar. Jake’s is ace, if you ever get the chance to go there, you should. After about an hour it occurred to us that no one else had showed up. No Caleb, no Taxi 2 from Hukaz... where was everyone? There's no signal in Jake’s cuz it's underground, but by some freak accident Sawah got some bars and got a text out to the missing. They hadn't been informed of the BRB/Jake’s change up and had gone to BRB as planned. We supped up and sheened over, finding every single one of them plus the Larger Than Life Living Leg.End Rob. He's in the pics... you'll see him.
Many drinks, lots of fun, I got a 15 minute phone call from Jammy and tried to palm it off on Michelle, his cousin, but that lasted about 2 minutes when she caved and passed me the phone. I'm not sure what I missed but when I got back I went the bar and James had made a terrific discovery.
Clive.
The almost official old man of LeedsMeUp.com, we first met Clive at Fruit Cupboard on the very first night out we had in the first year back in 2003. Then he was spotted again at FC when James worked there. He's got a picture of him in his phone, and now we have a picture of him on our site. Gemma has a track record of being able to charm the older man, so we sent her in to get photographic evidence of Clive. Rather cruelly, soon as I'd got my picture I fucked off and left her too it. Seems that while they were alone, Clive got a firm embrace on Gem from behind and asked her to 'tell everyone I'm your Granddad'. If that's not the most perverse thing you've ever heard, you're probably naked right now.
On the way out one of Elise’s fella’s mates stopped me and asked if he could have my phone. I said... no... and he repeated his request. Again no, then he informed me that he'd get it off me outside. It was a pre-emptive mugging. I was informed twice of the time and place of the mugging, for convenience sake. I'm not too fussed about getting me phone robbed off me, but it's a fucking inconvenience to order another one, and I'd lose me SIM with all my numbers and messages and that. We couldn't get in Norman cuz there was too many of us, so we got back to Jake’s and lodged ourselves in a corner. I give my phone to Caleb, because he's a double hard bastard. Foolishly I told him why he was given my phone and then he spent the rest of the night sizing up this guy and telling me about how much of a beating he would get.
Pretty big one, as it goes. He's been aching to smack someone for a long time, and unfortunately the guy left with Elise's crew to tag her all day long, so he didn't get his wish. Elise did though, so it worked out for someone.
Now, this is where I start to lose my rag, because out of kindness I agreed not to mention certain aspects of this evening, and once I'd opened myself up to the possibility of censorship, everyone wanted it, so there's not very much left of the night that I am actually allowed to tell you about. It was good though, and ended with me standing on a table and making a show of myself.