Events
Elise Breeze’s Costume Foray - Brought to you by James Wormald -
Just a usual Wednesday night in Walkabout I thought. Just a usual night, nothin big. Maybe Jordan will get raped on his way home like usual, but I didn’t expect anything bad to happen. As I was going to the ‘fancy dress’ evening AS Jordan, I was a little worried what was in store for me. As it turned out, my apprehensions were founded.
Yes, I was Jordan. I even managed to don his famous leather jacket. Along with a cushion strapped to my chest, and a balloon to my head, I was the spit! Gazz and Youd presented themselves as people from films, I wasn’t really sure. Youd looked good though. It was, of course on the night that Liverpool won the European Cup, which added an extra spice to the evening. I fully expected that spice to be ‘dickhead’ but it wasn’t that bad.
Because of the Karl Kennedy Extravaganza, I think that’s a big enough word, Extravaganza. Maybe if I capitalise it all? EXTRAVAGANZA! That’s better. Anyway, I didn’t want to get too drunk in preparation for not feeling like a turd sandwich the next morning. This plan was soon put to shit when I downed half the bottle of free champagne received in Creation.
After this, its kind of blurry, I probably got lost 6 times in Creation, (It’s like a maze in there!) then went home. Before walking home, I just wanted to pop back into Walkabout to see who was there. This apparently was not on, as they were closing. Closing at 1 for some reason???
I thought fine, OK, I’ll walk. But no... wait... I need the toilet. I asked the bouncer to let me in, simply for this reason. ‘Where’s the danger’ he thought, and agreed. This is where the trouble started. After using the facilities, I foolishly made the incredibly stupid mistake of feeling very very sick. I realise now, what I should have done was throw up all over the floor/bar/people, then get thrown out.
However being the stupid ass I am, this is not what I did. Instead, I had to get a glass of water, and try not to be sick. If you look at it really, I did deserve to get barred, I was stupid. My only hope now is to wait, serve my punishment, then try and convince the bouncers/management that it was a big mistake and I’ll never sip another drop of water on the premises again.
Would you trust me?
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