Events
Freshers For All - Brought to you by James Wormald -
Because of the utter, utter crapness that is Leeds Metropolitan University, Fresher’s week tends to be either a terribly subdued affair, or a complete waste of time for the people daring to imagine otherwise. This is why, my first Fresher’s week, (When I was one) I didn’t get involved in any of the University activities, preferring which ever bars seemed good at the time. After the first few weeks, I was a little disappointed, and thought I might have missed out.
In my second Fresher’s week, I’m not sure exactly what happened (Some say this is a sign of a good night) At that time I was busy in a relationship, so I missed out there too.
This time round Fresher’s week has a much more potent sting to it. Not only is it my third one [I really should be getting good at it by now], there’s also the pressure of it being my final Fresher’s week ever. Of course I’ll still go out after I finish Uni, but then I’ll just be the old mental guy scaring groups of girls I don’t know and getting thrown out of Walkabout (Like it’s not happened before)
Therefore, my intention is this. To go out every night of Fresher’s Week (6 nights, Mon-Sat) get Über pissed up, and make it a week not to remember. Each night just walk into town and see where the night takes me. Or should I say, this was my intention, Youd having just informed me that after Tuesday [Day 2] he’s off, and won't be back for the rest of the week!
So what are my options? Gazz? Pah! We all know Gazz never comes out, plus he’s like the shittest wingman ever. I mean Youd wasn’t exactly Goose, but at least he gave it a go, Gazz just wants to sit down sipping one drink all night and talking to each other. We can do that at home!
So… Monday, Day 1 – Went like this. After sharing a small bottle of Classic Glens Vodka and mixer [Youd choosing Red Bull and me going for Tizer], we were away. Away into the night like a couple of sex pests on parole. However by the time we’d walked past Hyde Park, we were sobering up. So into the Library we popped. Trouble was, Mondays are £1 a pint there so we left straight away.
By the time we got to Dry Dock, we were as sober as the Pope. Not long was spent there as EVERY single person was a fucking Fresher! And not the good kind either, the kind that spends 6 hours at the bar explaining to all their friends what their new yellow card means. Fuckers!
Off we go to Walkabout, which wasn’t too full but filling up nicely. [Perfect]. I noticed a group of people at a table talking about ‘where they were from’ and ‘what courses they’re doing’ and felt sick inside. Served them right that one of the regular mental geezers Walkabout get in to scare people took a shine to them. I’m not proud of it, but I have to admit, I showed a sign of weakness there. But c’mon! They were Freshers, they were like scared rabbits caught in the headlights. Plus there’s always a chance to pimp this site to new blood, even if it’s hobbit blood.
After one shandy, Walkabout wasn’t fulfilling our needs sufficiently. After securing the new Electric Press Revolution bar as a shooting location, I vowed not to go in their pissed (Just in case I fuck it all up in a drunken rage). So strange then, that I’ve visited every time I’ve been out since then. Lucky enough, however much I’m tempting fate by going in, and even saying this now, I’ve not managed to fuck it up just yet. The worse thing I did last night was go up to a table and put my drink down. I don’t know why, but Youd seemed to think this was the most heinous crime since the Crucifixion.
On from Revolution, Youd and I started to worry. It was almost midnight and we still didn’t really know where to spend the rest of the night. Youd suggested Townhouse, but it was £4 to get in, and all the way across town. I suggested Baja, but it looked dead, and you know… it’s pretty crap. (The fact that Youd chose the place with ladies out of my league, and I chose the place with ladies under his league was purely coincidental) We eventually decided on Bar Risa, mainly because we had to go somewhere that had a toilet.
Waiting in the queue, it looked a bit dead inside, and it was £3 in. So we fucked it off much to the dismay of my bladder. 3 seconds after exiting the queue, we were accosted with free entry, so back into the queue we got. The plan was to get in (For free) use the john, and scarper. But once in, it started getting busy, drinks were cheap, so we stayed.
As I was walking in, another group of guys coming in behind us didn’t have free entry passes. After using mine, I handed it off to one of them so he could get in for free too. (Remember this, it may not seem important now, but it comes in later)
No rest for the wicket as soon as we were in, I continued pimping the shit out of LeedsMeUp.com, and pretty soon we’d attracted a large group of ‘new friends’. With them being very interested in the whole LeedsMeUp.com thing, I thought fine, have the camera for an hour, let’s see what you can give me. So a few of the photos… don’t ask me about.
We’d singled them down to two girls one, Emily, and two Charlotte. Very nice names I said. Youd tells me it became obvious Emily was trying to pair us off, trying to get him to buy her a drink, to go to the bar with her. Poor girl, she gave it a good effort, when Youd has his little heart set on something, nothing’s gonna budge him. And I’m sorry girls, but last night Youd had his heart set on feeling sick, and going home early.
I, on the other hand was just getting into the mood. The only problem was the numbers, there were six of them. That’s six Freshers I had to charm. I usually find it hard to charm half a person, so it seemed like I needed a miracle. Somewhere in the conversation, for some reason I decided to tell these girls about the Christmas project. Always a terrible, terrible idea. You see, if these girls were at all interested in either Youd, or myself it doesn’t matter now. If they’re interested they’re gonna be interested in being in the film, whether they’re faking it or not, they’ll show interest. And at this point (The morning after) I have their numbers, and I will call them. But only to meet to see if they’re right for any upcoming roles. There’s no way I can call for any other reason, it’s far too ‘casting couch’, seedy, LA, Hollywood, “I came to the city to become a big star”, ‘Porn Filmy'. That’s something I should remember, if you think they might be interested, don’t mention you need cast for a film.
So I was waiting outside with these girls and their new flatmates (Or housemates, or whatever). And I see the guy I got in for free. And this is a big guy. Don’t ask me why, I got a sudden attack of idiocy, but for some reason I called him a dickhead. I was ripping into him because I got him in for free. I don’t know exactly what my point was (I have no idea what it could possibly have been), but lets just assume it was stupid. Even more inexplicable, I didn’t get the shit kicked out of me! I don’t know whether was just the kind of guy who looked big, but would never want to hit anyone, or if he was just so shocked that me, all 5 ft 8” of me was calling him a dickhead again and again and again.
As soon as the group of Freshers I was left with had found a taxi, I left and walked home on my lonesome. I suppose I could have got a taxi with them, and continued the night. But knowing my luck they would have just gone home and gone to bed, and I would have had to walk home from Kirkstall. Looking back on it now though, anything would have been better than having to walk home, talking to a group of really REALLY fucking annoying Freshers past Hyde Park.