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Things I Hate: People Who Love Big Brother - Brought to you by James Wormald -
I realise, that if I were to hate EVERYONE who watches Big Brother, I wouldn’t have many friends. Or in my case, even less. It’s not even that I hate anyone who says they love it. I freely admit that I enjoy getting into it. When they go in, the first night, nomination, evictions, BBLB, I love all of it.
However, before I condemn myself as a complete munj-cake, I must make a plea. The reason I like the whole idea is not because people are put into a house and I can watch everything they do, not because I can see them all get naked and jump in the pool, get drunk and get off with each other, argue over the issue of food three times a day, or because they all have to get out of bed, into a clown costume and into the garden stood on a giant ball in 3 minutes, or they’ll be left with a £4 shopping budget next week and be shunned by the rest of the group. NO! This is not what Big Brother is about!
The problem starts with the people on TV, whenever you see anyone on TV, whether it’s a C-list celebrity talking about how much they love Bubble because he’s funny, or Jade because she says what she thinks, only to be complaining that the same annoying little bitch who ‘says what she thinks’ is taking all their limelight (i.e. ‘Heat’ photo shoots) as soon as they are released from the house.
Or just some dickhead who calls up the 24hr recorded message line 10 seconds after they’ve seen Kemal walk through the living room on high heels and say ‘bitch’, screaming how he’s the funniest thing since Bubble.
I don’t want to sound like a 14-year-old goth, but when these people talk about who they like and who they don’t like, I just wanna kill myself! They crucify people like Vanessa and Sam for not having any arguments! This is no way to live your life. We can’t go around hailing the Dereks and Robertos of this world for being Rude, ignorant, hypocritical, outrageously behaving idiots!
It’s no reason to like someone for being a dickhead, what’s wrong with you people!?
O.K, the reason I like Big Brother is because I like to see the relationships develop, I like to see people form groups, and how they act when these groups are threatened. This is what the experiment was about, a study of the human character, tolerance and relationship. Not a study of how we shouldn’t bring that shit onto someone else’s patch, whether that someone else is from the bad boy hood of Leeds or not. Which by the way is where? Try getting through the Leeds Market at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon. That’s the real battleground.
Even if you are the type of person who watches it solely for the fights, the arguments, and the water fights. That’s fine. And I do realise that if the people who are involved in these ‘entertaining’ moments are evicted out, there wont be any more fights, therefore no interest in the house.
It stands to reason that because the people they put together have been hand-picked for the show, even if all Big Brother’s big mouths leave, this will simply create more.
So don’t vote for someone because they’re a nice person, and don’t hail someone for being entertaining, when all they are is a twat in wanker’s clothing.
An especially don’t claim you know what EVERYONE should do in EVERY situation. Don’t tell the quite people to start mixing things up a bit, because that’s no who they are. They are nice people, and they should be liked for it. By the same virtue, don’t side with someone for saying what they think to someone’s face instead of saying it behind their back, because the point is, whatever they’re saying it too, they’re still a twat.
If you watch Big Brother, please like the people who aren’t dickheads for not being dickheads, instead of supporting the wankers for being wankers. They really don’t deserve to win.
And if you don’t watch Big Brother, don’t start, it’s a terrible program.