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Going Home - Brought to you by James Wormald  -

Now… I want to be perfectly clear about this. This article is NOT the latest in the ‘things I hate’ series. Believe me, I don’t HATE going home. In fact there are many nice features that come with the trip home. Food you don’t have to cook, no washing up, no washing, no ironing. Home is basically a place where having a shower doesn’t mean standing under the overflow pipe.


Many different students have varying views on the ‘trip home’ for some, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. These are mainly the students who miss their life at home, miss their family, friends and home area. These people can be at ‘home’ for up to 5 months of the year! Seriously, a month for Christmas and Easter respectively, and 3 for the summer!


These students, are wank. And it is a common problem known only to students. Non-Students, or ‘young people’ tend to stay with their parents anyway, until they have the money, and feel like moving out. For those lucky souls, it really is that simple. However for the rest of us scrounging bastards (Students, not young people), we are faced with the choice. Firstly there is the choice of how often to visit home when at University, and then of course comes the ordeal of starting a new life after Uni.


Lets first look at the students who are between terms. I believe there are a few different factors in the decision of how long to stay at home (if at all). Firstly (and leastly) how much of a pussy you are. Yes, this sounds harsh, but I did say leastly. There is no denying that a young student in their first year away from home will be missing home-life much more than a more experienced veteran of student life. Therefore, the decision must, in part come down to how well a person adapts to life away from home.


And secondly (probably the biggest factor in my decision in how long I visit home), your social life. The social life you can expect to enjoy at University will undoubtedly be possibly one of the best you will have the chance to experience in your lifetime. You’ll meet life-long friends, and you will be a completely different person upon exiting the institution. For a lot of students, this isn’t a new experience. I’ve heard from some people, that they actually had friends before coming to Uni. Whatever kind of social life you did have with friends from home. It will always get worse and worse each time you visit as you and your past acquaintances grow further and further apart. (As you all change into different people).


Both these factors come down to time. The longer you’ve been away from home, the less it seems like ‘home’ therefore, the less time you’re going to spend there as it gradually turns from home, into just ‘your parents’ house’. This begs the question of home, when do you stop referring to it as such? When does your home change into the place you’re actually living?


I think for me, that point was when, on one of my trips ‘home’ or ‘to my mum’s house’ (Which by the way were at that point for about a week at Christmas and Summer, respectively) I was sleeping in the spare room (not my old bedroom) It felt more like a guest house than my home. And this was less than a year after moving away. At the moment when I visit my mum’s house, I do now stay in my old room. However it’s long since been my home. This is I’m sure for the sole reason that whereas many students face the dilemma of what to do and where to go after University, I do not.


Because my plan after University involves staying in Leeds for at least 5 years before moving away, I now know that I’m not just ‘away’ at Uni. Without really realising it, because I don’t plan on going back, I have actually moved out.


This is, in part in answer to my previous question. When a student has finished his/er degree. Where is their home then? It could feasibly be either. University life is over, unless they partook in some work experience scheme/sandwich year, the only job keeping them here is the role of part-time arse-licker to some power-mad dick-head (and other part-separated-words).


So what comes into the decision to stay where you are, move back with your parents, or possibly somewhere completely new? Job prospects? City-living? Cost-of-living? Are all good starting points. The most important factor in my opinion however, and the most widely used to make the decision in my research (me thinking about it) is again, social life.


Is it true that most students upon leaving University choose to stay close to that University? Truth is, I don’t know, and I’m not gonna do the research. But I’d say yes. At the point of graduation, the friends and colleagues made at University are among the most important things in your life. Going ‘back’ home i.e. moving back in with your parents would mean effectively turning your back on all these supposed life-long friends. And if you think about it, what is there waiting for you there? A bunch of people you’ve grown so far apart from in the last 3 years that conversation becomes harder than your final exam?


You’ve gotten so used to doing things your way, where the plates go, how the washing up is regimented, the finer details of your wash cycle. Do you really want all that fucked up? At the end of the day, all it comes down to is a simple choice. When you bring someone home, which would you prefer to face the morning after? 1) The disapproving eyes of your mother asking if you used a condom/are going to take the morning after pill (just in case), and your father’s lectures on binge-drinking? Or 2) The well devised, and I have to say brilliantly scripted burns of your housemates for fucking such a hideous Trog?


Any of my friends will tell you, I’d fuck the Trog any day.