I write this at work, eagerly awaiting my fate from The Executive Panel (tm), who are currently having a variety of meetings to see if it’s financially viable to keep me employed. It sounds grim on the surface, however I should mention that I work at an FE college and the current situation is very win-win. If they do decide that I’m a financial albatross, I qualify for voluntary severance, which in a nutshell means I get six months of my wage up-front and promptly vacate the premises. Also if they decide that I'm worth keeping, then I know my job is secure for the next year or so, despite the horrific further education cut-backs, so that's pretty mint. However, what I can't stand is the waiting. I don't mind either option to be honest; the cash would be great but it would follow with that whole 'finding a new job' ball-ache. All I have to work with, regarding the time scale, is a series of misleading emails, sent from various interim human relation managers, who lately advised me that it could happen any time from the next minute, to the 18th of June.

Small amounts

If I do get the money, instead of stashing it in some savings account for a deposit on a house or something else ridiculous and sensible, I intend to blow it on a variety of ways

1) On the day I find out, I plan to go to a stupidly expensive restaurant and order the most outlandish meal they provide - I'm not at all a restaurant person, however it seems the correct response when faced with such news

2) I plan to host a Golden Handshake Party, well more of a pub crawl, in which I invite all my friends to rock a weekender of booze and vice on my tab, now that's fucking philanthropy

3) I will also rock a mini Euro road trip, to make up for not being able to do so a few years back when our second feature film went tits up

4) The rest of the cash goes towards my travel fund, which starts Sept 2011, which should hopefully fuel a good few years of world wide travel

So now, I sit at my desk, imagining ridiculous ways of blowing my small fortune, but sort of knowing deep down, that I'll more than likely just be asked to stay.

Golden Handshake - Brought to you by Nick O’Mahoney -