It may seem like the LondonMeUp.Com gang are nothing more than a pocket full of chancers coasting away on the edge of a rainbow, but no. We’re serious, experienced writers, and have been for some time. Of course Gazz and I produced LeedsMeUp.Com back in the day. Meanwhile, our third signing Akin started off his own blog (2006 to not be precise in any way). It was called ‘A Darker Shade Of Black’. I liked it so much I asked him to come on board with LondonMeUp.Com. Classic-Ak is a series of some of his early mutterings from the blog. I’ll let him explain the rest. Please enjoy.

Intro

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Very disappointed. . .

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A Darker Shade Of Black...

“Make Sure You Marry a Nigerian Girl”

This is probably one of my mum’s largest concerns about my life, in fact the ONLY thing she wants more is for me to be a good Christian and an example to others. For those of you who don’t know me well or at all, my mum and dad are both Nigerian…making me…Nigerian!

Now until 2006 I had been ruthlessly dodging Nigerian girls…why? Not too sure really, I didn’t even realise until I was chatting to my friend bout the different races of girls we’d dated and stuff…so I could only think of one girl and she was a chicken head! (No names need be mentioned it was a long time ago). So in ’06 I had the mentality of dating more Nigerian girls, mainly because I was trying to be a bit more focused and cautious about my future. Maybe I went a bit OTT with it, but I realised that I had no excuse for the low number of Nigerian girls in my past. In ’06 I met a lot more and had a few different experiences with them.

What bugs me most about the Nigerian girls I tend to meet is that like me, they were all raised, or have spent a majority of their life in the UK... so they are pretty much UK girls (That’s not a terrible thing). Now because I’m pretty much a London boy myself it shouldn’t bother me right? Nah man, it bugs me still, I can see a lot of “Nigerianess” in these girls, I can see how they are still rooted in their culture, but I figure why be so focused towards hooking up with a Nigerian girl when she’s pretty much your average London girl?

One of my friends said he’s going to go to Nigeria to get his wife! I might need a ticket too bro, let me know when your’e going… we’ll stack up numbers from one of the Redeemed Ministries Holy Ghost Nights! It’ll be like the sequel to Coming to America… apart from us not being princes… but we’ll just lie and say we play football in England… you be Mikel and I’ll be a more handsome version of Kanu!

Now a lot of people that know me are probably thinking “What a hypocrite, you cant even speak your own language, all you know how to do is eat, blah blah blah…” Relax, it isn’t that serious! Plus Lord willing I’ll shack up with a tasty Nigerian lady, I’m not too interested in looking for anything else… but I’d definitely give a fair hearing to any girls that aren’t Nigerian but are interested… I don’t discriminate, bring me a sexy Eskimo who can make jollof rice and I’ll be like mum, this is my girl and she says she can learn to cook anything your teach her. “It’ll be hard at first darling but my mum will get use to you.”

My Brother Says: I’ve, on many occasions heard my mother (with my sister ad libbing “yeah it’s true”) rambling on to my brother “I’m so looking forward to the day when you bring a nice Nigerian girl to this house... I’m not a racist but if your relationship is to work then the people should be of the same culture...” If you’re Nigerian, marry a Nigerian to save the hassle that’s what I say (wise words). I know it’s hard when being a Nigerian raised in the UK, to not look at other cultures because some of these white girls are doin’ it (looking nice) but keeping the same culture seems to be the best way. I on the other hand am planning to marry a sweet Bangladeshi girl (wink).

Ak-Man: I’m back now (Hoorah)! My bro has the right idea; I know it may seem like I’m taking a few shots at precious Nigerian girls but in reality you’re at the top of my list regardless… not just because my mum says so, not just because of the food, BUT because it makes so much sense, logically and emotionally! I’ve been enlightened and no longer need the ticket to Nigeria… Nigerian born, UK raised… that’s me, so a girl who has the same background is pretty much what I need right?

My Buddy Tolu Says: As you can see by my name, I am Naija. Infact my full name is Tolu Popoola; so for all the people that know me, and there are a lot of you, (being a famous footballer like me) there will be no mistaking it. I keep it real. Anyway I tell you, from east to west, Naija girls are the best. I hope my friend Sasha is not reading this and all the countless Jamo girls I've gone out with.

Having 'bigged my niggarettes up' I have to say, you lot need to change your attitude. Be less materialistic, and give a bus pass nigga a chance, if he's got potential...Trust me, I used to be a bus pass nigga, and now look at me, I'm a bus pass nigga... lol... only when I come on holiday in England. In the U.S.A, I'm a thriving footballer/businessman/producer. So the moral of the story is feel free to leave your number with Ak-man, I might just make your day.

There really isn’t any concrete conclusion here; at times life is like rolling dice… if you don’t have a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free Card’ you better shuffle your fists and pray for a double six!

Classic-Ak: “Make Sure You Marry a Nigerian Girl” - Brought to you by Akin Omobitan -